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Oprah Winfrey
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| As much as every soccer mom and suburban house frau eats up the Oprah culture, Oprah still eats more. |
| Oprah has just now realized that she is still fat and it may be due to depression. |
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Yes, I said depression. Oprah is depressed. ‘Depressed’ is your ’84 Plymouth Horizon breaking down on the turnpike on your way home from a Waffle House shift. Depressed is what Oprah’s slimming panty hose feel after a sack of White Castle burgers. I understand that what we go through in life, and how it affects us, is relative to who we are. Oprah should have a pretty good clue by now. She has been poor, rich, filthy wealthy, famous, infamous, slim, fat, slimmer, way fat, way fatter, enormous, and now just plain old Oprah-sized. |
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| Talking about her resolve for 2009 Oprah said, "When you love yourself enough, you take care of yourself. You have to make yourself a priority." I guess she forgets about her own magazine and SiriusXM radio channel (that she is never on). Oprah is Oprah’s only priority, so let’s all wish her a happy lifetime of being fat Oprah. |
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